Don't know what to do with myself?

You are going to school so that means you must want to accomplish something. That is good and shows ambition. Your family has always been a certain way, and you clearly acknowledge that, so you cannot reasonably expect them to change their behavior just because of how someone else feels. I have no suggestions for smalltalk. I hate smalltalk, I am terrible at it and I find it to be a waste of time. Consider using your educational opportunity to take electives just to find a hobby you enjoy. It doesn't matter if that hobby is shop cl, gym or chess club. No matter what outsiders think, there will be other people within those hobbies that you will have a connection and relevant topic to discuss. You couldn't pick your family, but you can pick your future lifestyle and how you spend your time. You need to control your own life rather than have peoples opinions control you.